JUST BROKE DOWN AND CRIED

Few days ago I went to campus to meet my lecturer as usual. So far i went very smooth and didn't find any hard difficulty with my case. I was pretty optimistic that I would finish my study before June this year. On that day I met with one of my friend whom had done with her research and she was going to submit it. Wow, how I envy and got energized by that. I could make it too. If she could then why couldn't I?! Till that day, i've never felt worry about financial thing since as far as I know I got 40% discount fee. But what a shock when the administrator said that my bill was 16,7 million. I insisted that was not the right bill for me. I've got special discount so I should've paid less than that crazy amount. I was panicked coz I couldn't show the letter as a proof. Tears started to run through my face. I just went to the parking lot and cried inside my car for almost half an hour. I was confused and scared coz I didn't know what to do. All I could do just prayed and hoped for the best.... Bekasi, April 24, 2012 -rf-

DILEMA

Saat ini penyusunan tesisku sudah masuk bab 4, yaitu pengambilan data dan pelaksanaan intervensi. Perasaanku senang akan kemajuan sudah ku capai tetapi ada rasa bimbang juga karena seiring dengan perkembangan penyusunan tesis maka semakin sering aku izin di kantor. Memang sebulan yang lalu aku sudah menghadap kedua atasanku dan menceritakan tentang situasi yang ku alami saat ini. Secara umum mereka bisa mengerti dan berpesan jika memang begitu keadaannya maka yang terpenting aku memberitahukan ketidakhadiranku kepada salah satu dari mereka.

Aku bertanggungjawab dalam pengelolaan SDM di kantor dan biasanya aku sangat marah terhadap karyawan yang absen melebihi 2 hari kerja. Sekarang malah aku yang banyak izin. Malu sih tapi ya mau gimana lagi. Yang terpenting aku selalu mengkomunikasikan ketidakhadiranku kepada atasan.

Memang sudah saatnya aku menentukan skala prioritas dan berbesar hati menerima segala konsekuensi yang mengikuti. So, c'est la vie.....


Kantor Ayah,
Ahad, 15 April 2012

-rf-

HOPE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO MY CHILDREN

Lately I've been experiencing bad situation with my mom. She hasn't spoke with me for almost 2 weeks. Can you imagine that?! She just keep silent and prefer not to speak with me. Even if she has something to say she would ask my dad or somebodyelse to speak for her. Until now I don't know why she behaves like that.

Deep in my heart I feel sad but I refuse to show it to her. She's been hostile to me and I'll proof that I'm strong enough to hold on.

As a daughter I feel sad, as a grown up I feel angry, and as a mother I promise myself I would do my best to prevent this kind of situation happens to my children in the future. If there's something wrong I will speak to them with open-minded and without hard feeling. Not gonna torture my children with rejection. I don't want my children grow to be an insecure person.

So parents, please behave as an adult towards your children. Don't ask too much if you haven't given as much as you demand from your children. Stop hurting yourself by hurting your children's hearts. Create a caring family so your children will become healthy people with positive thoughts in their minds.


April 5th, 2012

-rf-