AT MY EDGE

Sometimes we do feel a ‘lil bit crazy and ashame to admit it. But it is oke, I call it human nature. It is our nature to try our best for not looking miserable and abnormal. We want people think that we’re oke, there’s nothing wrong with our brain, our life is perfectly fine, etc etc etc. I’ve been through this circumstances several times and eventually arrived at a stage when my mind and heart collide then an insight came up to the surface: “Denying give me nothing but suffering”. Hmmmmm…..pretty knocked me down :P

Yesterday I had my Support Group meeting with mamiBet, mba Dian (my Makassar sista whose thought and life amazed me almost all the time), and Lucy. We had a very tough discussion but it managed to make all of us felt grateful at the end of the meeting. I love my part when my beloved sista –mba Dian- said: “Mom, it’s my turn to do this!” then she took AC remote control and a pack of candy, put them in front of me. She looked me in the eye and with steady voice she said: “Sis, these are your problems so what you’re gonna do about them???”. Kinda shocked and I was shut by her question. I took a very deep breath before answer her question. I could feel mamiBet’s eyes were heading to me directly. She’s definitely waiting for my response.

From the meeting I had yesterday I learned few things. One of the lesson was if you ever feel stress have a talk or meet with someone who understands the way the human mind reacts to stress, loss, and difficulty can make us feel less alone and more supported. And I did! Fiuuuuuuh… it’s not easy to do but worthy enough to try. Beside that come to the One whose Mighty Power always protects us all the time is the main way to calming our fragile heart. Alaa bidzikrillahi tatmainnul qulub…by remembering HIM will calm our hearts.

Another way is by taking time out. Take some day-off from whatever is making us feel uncomfortable. After that our right mind soon will back again. I guess I’ve been practicing this way since couple of years ago and it really works!!! Don’t forget to look into your inner self and find goodness inside of it. When you manage to find at least one or two goodness within then you can see that basically you are okay.
Thank you Allah for giving me the chance to live my life to the fullest. Please help me through all these obstacles and lead me to Your path….

Sunday morning
June 7th, 2009